Monday, September 12, 2005
Yes i m back at wk...suppose 2 be on MC today...but i stil came wif my left side de mouth swollen...yes partly due 2 money factor...cuz my increase in pay make me pull myself up n came 2 wk...i felt reli terrible...felt like sum slave sloggin in my life...no enjoyment...no life...jus wk 4 money sake again...no money no life bah 2 sum ppl tinkin...but is money reli worth sloggin 2 n dyin 4?
wat m i suppose 2 do nw?? nt very sure...jus super down...duno wat my aim in life...practically bein "push" along due 2 money sake...worst recently found tat i got flaky scalp...partly due 2 stressed n as wkin at nite gt 2 slp w/o thoroughly dryin my hair...n blowin dry my hair had cuz split ends recently...haiz full of problems...
work...fancy workin day n nite...reli on da verge of breakin down...cant take it soon bah...tot ytd i was tired due 2 so busy at wk...so i slept early...but in vain jus cant slp well...keep havin nitemares on ppl askin 4 orders...tis continue till bf joined me in bed...then as my aircon is stil nt fixed...so the sound was so loud tat it woke me up too...
i did promise myself 2 take gd care of myself...rest more dun stressed up...relac myself...but like seems nt 2 let me do it...family n money...both r rather essential n sumhw impt but is tollin on me...
yes i admit...family is super impt tat i forgo wat i had planned which is 2 take every monday 2 rest but stil go 2 help out at papa's stall...yet i cant seems 2 find tat motivatin factor...spent time wif family...slogg as hard tog...but i stil cant find myself reli truly enjoyin it...perhaps i m jus jus way too tired...
as for my mornin office job...due 2 the pay increase n the promise 2 work more so tat me n des can set up our love nest asap...money is so so impt all the sudden...yet tis aint one of my top priority...so i like strugglin real hard...i duno wat 2 say...wk 2wards my hapiness wif des...but is super taxin...wat m i suppose 2 do? anyone wana enlighten me???
mayb sum pt in time of each life...u will feel real down...once u awhile u nid sum motivatin factor 2 move on if nt take a short break...but can i take a short break? will i be laggin behind then? so shld i slog n eventually lag as i tired out n nid a longer rest?
well well certain parts n parcel of life bah...ponder n ponder...nt sure wat 2 do...hopefully there is a bf 2 lead back n rest...but he is oso tired n sloggin his life too...so m i burden 2 him??? nice 2 haf sumone 2 lead on & share ur problems...provided he is free 2 help ya bah...if nt then hw???
even frens are busy too...realize tat haven been keepin in contact wif them...sumhw they hav changed...nt tat closed anymore...life sumhw hav make sum changes in us for our own survival loh...
thx for serene & ah jie which pop up last nite at my papa's stall n had a chat wif me...practically nw i m nt so chatty...perhaps jus wana lie low n rest...n oso nth much 2 chat wif frens...borin life for nw bah...
cheyanne (>_<) last posted ; 2:11 PM