Tuesday, October 18, 2005
ya recently very very stressed up....
~11th-14th Oct~
Not much happenin...xcept tat i m very sick...almost tot i got dengue...so was stil hopin tat i reli hav dengue so tat i can haf a gd gd rest...too bad then...
~15th Oct~
Attended my dear sinyee wedding...i like her dress she bought fr La Vie...i oso wana go buy...but super expensive...but i'll b goin there to take a look...since my another colleague, mindy signed up wif the wedding package there....
~16th Oct~
At 3plus am...i quarrel wif bf n chase him hm...guess i jus cant take it anymore...i tink i hav bottled too much stuff which we nv nv seem to solve them...either no time or drag too long tat i forget liao...then onli when another similiar ting happen i wana talk...time is jus sumtin nt enuff n not rite for us...actuali i oso duno y i did it tat day...i was so unreasonable but aft tat instead of feelin real bad...i actuali felt relieved...felt lighten...so i dun feel tat i did the wrong ting...i guess it is reli a big communication breakdown prob...wheneva we haf prob....des wont feel it...n claim i tink too much...so time goes n a big bomb blown up...the fact tat i dun feel bad n din even bother 2 tink abt it anymore...i jus feel real tired tat time...felt tat i been tryin but failed...n felt tat he aint doin anytin 2 make us beta...2 strengthen our bond...so i let go...i reli let go...woot n i felt much beta...i jus wana lay back n enjoy it...one big load is gone...nw 2 solve 2 other which is wk...
~17th-18th Oct~
hmmm...sinyee's hatch day...called her on da fone n wish her hapi hatch day...realized tat my boss hav been pickin on me...even my 2 Asst Mgrs oso tink so...guess he reli not hapi wif me gettin more pay...oh well...anyway i will be granted for a perm job interview tis fri...wish me luck...actuali it is the same stat board as my ex Depty Director...which she was very very nice to me...n i reli hope i score well in da interview...
oh then i saw my fren ex wif tat 3rd pty which he claim tat they hav no feelings for each other...but i saw them huggin real close...so was rather sad...hw can he cheat on my fren...guess findin everlasting love is so so rare...
then my boss ask us to share sum tots...ask us ponder abt 3 tings n discuss it in a mth time...gosh all the qns make me even more stressed up..which ended up skippin ytd dinner...n oso 2day lunch...1) Own goals in life...2)own strength & weaknesses...3)colleagues' strength & weaknesses...sucky sia...perhaps it is due to performance appraisal period so it oso spark him to tink more...anyway i oredi gt my ans...at 1st tot of givin blank paper...but i tink if i ans him all these...then he will be more dulan...so mayb i will jus keep quiet n say nth...or try to skip tat mtg...cuz i dun like it...n i dun like ppl commentin on me...mayb might provoke ppl tat regard me as cannot accept ppl comments but i do haf my reasons tat all...those who noe me well will understand y...i admit i duno hw 2 handle compliments/comments...but i oso do nt wan to...at tis stage of my life bah...mayb in future i wld but who noes...hahaha...
anyway so i m rather sick of life...sick of tis society...i jus wana escape...i dun even haf the proper time 2 tink n clear my own doubts n tots...demandin society is wearin n tearin me out...slpless nites again...tossin n turin...my mind jus wont rest...here i go again countin jus countin b4 i finally collapse...or shld i countdown 2 my hapiness...little simple ting tat i oways crave for...i jus wana runaway...let go of everytin n everyone bah
cheyanne (>_<) last posted ; 6:08 PM